I'm going to be honest here. I had some interesting things happen to me this summer. If you don't want some backstory, skip the next paragraph, to where the real content begins.
I graduated college in 2004. A matter of months after that, I moved in with my girlfriend at the time. We lived together for all of 3 years. Well, around the end of May, this changed, and she left. I had never truly lived alone until this point. I won't lie - there was a stage of depression, but most of it is unrest. You look around you and realize "this isn't what I planned on".
Things change. Sometimes you can't control it, or don't pay attention to it, But other times you can. This is one of those times. Take a look at your life, at where you're at, and decide what, if anything, you aren't satisfied with. I'll tell you what I've changed.
Spending money like a fool
We all do this sometimes. Because I had 2 incomes, I had a lot of expendable cash. The $3 cup of coffee wasn't a problem. Brand name toilet paper? Sure! I made a lot of 'mistakes' as to where my money went because I was stable where I was at. Well, when your spending technically doubles overnight, you rethink this quite a bit. So here are things I've learned from experience, which means you might not have to:
- Make a grocery list. Nothing is worse that going to the grocery store with the intent of "buying what looks good". You need to understand, not only that packaging is as much advertising as anything else, but also that if you know ahead of time what you want, you will buy healthier foods.
- "Do I need this?" is one of the most important questions you can ask. A 2 liter of Coca Cola is $0.80? Do you need it? Probably not. You're thinking in terms of the "now" and not the "what next". Imagine all the money you can save when you realize that the Starbucks coffee is just as satisfying as the half-caf latte.
- A brand-name does not mean better, only better marketing. You don't need to buy everything brand named. There is a gas station near me that has coffee as good as Dunkin Donuts, and for half the price.
Too much clutter
I have (had) a lot of crap. Stuff I don't need anymore, but it's there because there is no reason to get rid of it. I have books I bought ages ago, which are no longer relevant (computer books, c'est la vie), DVDs which I hated, and furniture that just sits in the corner and collects dust.
I've noticed something more and more recently - "having things" does not equate in any way, shape, or form, to being happy. Having things means you have things. Sometimes these things can be conduits to other more satisfying things (the TV and DVD player will let you watch movies and television; the computer will let you talk to friends, find information, and listen to music; books will give you information, great stories, or even advice; etc), but more often than not, it is just Stuff.
Trying to balance your conduit-vs-stuff ratio is hard, but doable. And here are some things I learned in the process. I know it is hard to get rid of things. I'm a digital packrat as much as the next guy, but you need to sit down and just do it. Spend a few hours and go through a closet, or a room. You won't regret it.
- If it's electronic, or related to electronics, and you haven't touched it in 3-6 months, it's probably useless. This goes for everything. Spare cables, ethernet cord, that old wireless router, the super iPod dock with speakers, your old Nintendo 64, etc.
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Furniture you don't use needs to go. This one is hard for a lot of people (but
way easier for us apartment dwellers). Here are a few things to put your mind
at ease:
- Minimal interior design makes use of few pieces of furniture, and open spaces.
- Less furniture means less to clean.
- If you live in an apartment, it's less to move when your lease is up.
- You can get some spending cash.
- Old clothes are a pain. We all know you have "that shirt that wrinkles too easily" or "the pants that are cool but a bit too tight" or even "the ugly weekend shirt". We all do. Ditch it. Getting rid of clothes you don't wear has numerous benefits. Firstly, you can donate it and feel good about yourself. Secondly, it allows you to buy new clothes, which DOES make you feel better about yourself - looking better makes anyone feel better.
Eating right makes you feel better
In a relationship, especially a long term one, most people tend to get into this vibe of "nothing to do, let's go to a restaurant". It's common and I don't look down on it. But replacing idle time with an eating habit can be bad in the long run. If you've been in something like this for some time, switching to proper eating habits gives you a huge energy boost. Try it out, I promise it'll help. Eat as healthy as you can - if you're able to "do" vegetarian, try it. Do this for 3 days. I promise you will feel better.
Sleep is good for you
This is a hard one for me. See, when in a long term relationship, it can be hard to find time for yourself. The way I did things, is that I'd let her go to bed first, and get my techy computer stuff done then. This, of course, kept me awake way longer than I should have been. You get used to 4 hours of sleep a night, but it's not ideal. It's doable, sure, but you wake up much easier, and feel much better in the morning with the proper amount of sleep. This is another "try this out" item. For about one week, try and get 7 or 8 hours of sleep. At some point, you might even wake up slightly before your alarm (this took me about 2 weeks, in all honesty).
See, here's something I find interesting. I've heard it all my life but never believed it. "You can get more done in the morning than in the evening". It always seemed silly to me, and the reason is simple. I always felt like crap in the morning. Well, try sleeping right. Now I can wake up, go for a quick jog, make some coffee, eat breakfast, check my email, shower, and go to work in before I used to get in when I was simply waking up and taking a panicked shower,
Working out is a form of meditation
This one is weird. Feel free to ignore it, as I know it doesn't "strike home" with a lot of people. Forcing yourself to work out is hard. Really hard. It's painful, and work, and not enjoyable. I understand, believe me. Here's the thing, though - you're doing it wrong. What works for me, is not the crowded gym, with an iPod. No. I need quiet (or rather, the ability to tune things out) and concentration.
After trying different things, it actually became very simple to tune out the world, and concentrate on concentrating. There is a calming effect to lifting a weight, something serene in running. It has become, almost, a form of relaxation.
If you can do this, do it. I know I've done the "it makes you feel better" thing twice already, but this is the largest one of those. Working out will make you feel way better than anything else.
Stay tuned for specific articles on all these topics, as well as productivity tips.